EMPATHY 101: ESSENTIAL COPING TIPS FOR EMPATHS

by Steven Bancarz

http://www.thespiritscience.net

Being able to pick up on others energy and feel what they are feeling is a wonderful gift to have.  It can also be one of the most burdensome curses.  If not managed properly, empathetic abilities can cause you extreme emotional, spiritual, and psychological distress.

Have you ever been around someone and had your energy completely drained from how negative they are? Or have you ever been around someone who is in a state of depression, and then you get caught up in feeling that same depression as well?  Being an empath is a gift, but it requires that we have a special skillset to prevent ourselves from losing our energy and our sanity.

Here are 3 essential coping tips for people with empathetic abilities:

1) Gaurd your thoughts

Here is a very common experience empaths go through.  Let’s say you are sitting down with a friend, and another person walks into the room and you start picking up on what they are feeling.  When you start picking up on what they are feeling, pay attention to the thoughts that arise in your mind when this happens.  They may be thoughts like:

“Oh great, now I’m going to have to deal with this”, or “Why did that person have to come here”, or “Why can’t I stop feeling what they are feeling”, or something along the lines of you affirming the reality of a negative experience for yourself.  Your mind treats itself as a victim to that person’s energy, when in reality, it is a neutral experience.

Once you hop on board with your mind and start condemning them for draining you, or yourself for allowing yourself to be drained, then you are both reaffirming your own lack of control and contributing more negative energy to yourself by the way you are allowing your mind to perceive it.

Next time you experience a situation like this, catch your mind want to make it into a culprit-victim relationship.  They aren’t feeling negative at you, and this is not something they are doing to you.  You are not a victim.  Half of the hardships of being an empath is dealing with the negative thoughts that start arising and fueling that same energy field.  Catch your mind want to condemn, and you will save yourself a lot of suffering.

2) Zoom out. Adopt a new perspective

Instead of turning your empathetic experiences into a personal problem, turn them into an opportunity to understand.  We will often blame others for the way they are dealing with their emotions and thoughts, and how they are projecting that into the world.  But let’s consider something for a moment.  Does anybody REALLY want to be negative all the time? Do you think they enjoy being depressed, angry, sad, or anxious?

What could that person have went through that would cause them to carry around such a toxic energy? Chances are, they have went through something really traumatic, in which case you should exercise understanding and compassion.  Or, they don’t know how to properly manage thoughts and emotions, in which case you should still exercise understanding and compassion.

Don’t just sit there allowing yourself to absorb someone else’s negative energy.  Zoom out from the situation, and consider that they are clearly lost, confused, or going through a rough time.  Maybe nobody has ever taught them how to deal with what life throws at them, or with the thoughts that are dragging both of you down.  Once you realize that THEY are a victim (as opposed to you being the victim), your energy shifts from being one of passive compliance to one of pro-active love and understanding

3) Clear your energy field

Easier said than done, right?  Perhaps.  But this is a step that is often overlooked when trying to cope with empathetic feelings.  Our instinct is usually to abort the situation or move locations.  It rarely ever results in a moment of introspection.  Instead of asking ourselves “How can I get away from this?”, it may be more helpful to ask “How can I be stronger than this?”

Close your eyes, and practice deep conscious breathing.  Bring your full attention to the act of breathing. Don’t think about your breathing, but feel the air move in and out of your lungs.  When your attention is focused on something that grounds you instead of it being focused on the situation in front of you, you are able to see how much you are allowing yourself to be influenced when you don’t have to be.

Take back control over your energy field.  It’s your domain, and you are the gatekeeper of your thoughts.  Don’t be afraid to take your power back.  Sometimes, all it will take is 60 seconds of meditation, or 20 deep conscious breaths, or a minute of contemplating how much of a miracle it is that anything at all exists, and you will give yourself some breathing room between your energy field and the influence of the ones around you.

Taking Responsibility

Notice how all three of these tips have to do with what WE are bringing to the table, and how we choose to interact with the people who are weighing us down with their energy.  It’s too much to ask of the world to expect it to be peaceful and harmonious so we don’t have to bear the weight of negative energy, so the key to your freedom is to turn inwards and see what you can do change the way you engage with that person and with the thoughts and energy that person has installed in you.

Once you realize that you are the architect of your life in each moment, you take your power back from the hands of people around you.  You can choose to guard your thoughts and not let negative thoughts fill your head, you can choose to adopt a new perspective of love and understanding, and you can choose to put your foot down and clear your energy field.

You are a powerful creator.  Living as a empath may not always be easy, but living as an empath with victim mentality is a sure-fire way to put the keys to your happiness in the hands of the world around you.  You are more than just an energetic sponge.  You have will power and volition.  Don’t be afraid to step into your power and take back control over your energy field.

Hope this is helpful!

Steven Bancarz,

Team Spirit

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